One post before Bangkok Trip,

Finally a chill down time from NS,
I can't wait to get out of that shithole everyday,
Fucking disgusting and messy place.
These assholes can't keep the place tidy for nuts.

/Kohai
We like each other and that's fine,
now you are thinking if our personality matches,
you know...to me...it doesn't really matter?
If things don't go well, we solve them,
we have an issue, we talk them out,
we can't stand taking nonsense from each other, we shut each other up,
It's fine isn't it?

If you didn't have the feeling and you didn't feel we could get together,
then just end it,
Having not ending it means you still feel something,
Isn't it alright as long as we like each other,
Does this matter so much?
It's a simple thing made to sound so complicated.

Kohai, kimi ga daisuki.
Boku no koto wo mou daisuki darou?
Sore dake de jiubun da.

How delusional I was in the past huh...

I'm really feeling so frustrated today,
I had to blog because I would implode otherwise...

Anyway I'm feeling better already,
must be because of the chatting with Kohai...
But still, I want to blog down how I feel.

Feeling conflicted due to the fact that Sakura and Cel feel that I left them out,
but isn't that how things works?
If we are dating, we would have lesser time for friends right?
Sakura just had to insist that she lost a friend when nothing even happened,
I just tend to hang out less,
and I didn't gave up on designing because of Kohai,
It's fucking because I'm afraid I might pull you down with all my busy schedule,
why can't you look at the positive side of my view,
why do you have to look at this the negative way,
WHAT THE FUCK, Insolent Adolescence.

Also, Kohai is still in contact with her Ex...
I thought they had cut all contact but turns out not,
they are still in contact, like good friends apparently...
I try not to overthink but...how could I not.
I still like Kohai and I believe this feeling is mutual,
I hope that this Ex of hers doesn't affect our relationship,
if it does, it really means our relationship is weak...
I should place more trust in her.
Stop doubting her Haru...
___________________________

To sum up the posts that I deleted,

I got over Aki Kazumi
She gave me the Hoshino Haru name somehow,
I got over Sakura too because she was literally too childish for me,
I liked Kohai, and apparently she likes me too,
We started dating on 18th Oct, the Halloween night.
We are still dating.

Physically we progressed too fast,
but mentally we are going quite slowly.
I hope this is fine.

Both my Fraternal side Grandparents had went on to paradise,
I cried the most on my Grandmother's as she was literally like another mother to me.
Yes, I am able to cry.